On anxiety, emotional website copy that cuts the waffle, and shows you care about your wellness clients.
Writing this, I was whisked back in time to the iconic Cameron House Hotel on the banks of Loch Lomond. We were there for a break, not long after my Mum had died. I thought I was coping…until an epic anxiety attack hit me.
Dinner was going to be in the fine dining restaurant. I got out of the shower and grabbed the radiator for support. Tears came from nowhere, but I kept them quiet so I didn’t alert my husband. Eventually, I sank to the floor in a pile of luxurious, monogrammed, fluffy white towels and sobbed until I thought I was going to be sick.
Cameron House, Loch Lomond
Okay, okay…you’re probably thinking, sure, but stay with me here
This was the worst panic attack I can remember having, and as well as being scared, I felt embarrassed and ashamed for not being strong enough to go out to dinner.
But, I’m getting ahead of myself.
If you’re reading this as a therapist or coach, or anyone who deals with anxiety and panic attacks, you’ll know I’ve given you a short, simple edited version of what it was really like inside that bathroom and inside my head.
You may have felt like this yourself, or you may be supporting clients, struggling with anxiety and depression.
One thing you can be certain of is that it’s hard to ask for help. To reach out and find someone who you feel can see past the shame of being a ‘failure’, the embarrassment of being a burden to your family. Someone who you can trust, who understands you and who you feel can help you heal.
Where do you turn to when you’ve been knocked off your feet?
Ok, let’s go back a moment and remember how I/you/your client is feeling after a horrible panic attack where they not only felt physically ill, but also guilty for ruining the evening/the break and for having to get the hotel staff to call a Dr.
The shred of hope is this… you’re going to ‘fix’ this, you’re going to get help. You’re going to feel better again when you find someone to take away this pain and help you to feel human again.
It’s 2 am because you want to do this when no one else is around. It’s too awkward when you’re trying to put on a brave front during the day. You start your search and come across a website from a leading anxiety therapist…wait, what, this is what you’re faced with on the homepage of her website.
Example of a Hero section on a website homepage with no value proposition
It’s worth knowing Website users spend 57% of their time on the visible portion of a webpage without scrolling. If there is nothing to capture their attention so that they can quickly understand your value proposition and take action without the need for excessive scrolling further down, you’re doing your business a real disservice.
Followed by the first paragraph down from the Hero banner - a great place for a testimonial!
First paragraph below the Hero banner on a website homepage showing 'non client’ focused text, with coaching speak and jargon
And finally…for this blog post
Text on a website homepage showing vague copy
As an anxiety sufferer and a conversion copywriter, when reading this it’s like slamming into a brick wall at full speed, and your hope deflates and drains away.
If I had come across this in my search for me, rather than as research for this post, there is no way on earth I would have read beyond the first few paragraphs.
Sterile Coach Speak is Hurting Your Business - Let’s Change That
Here’s how it’s costing you clients, time and money
Low conversions - you’re confusing potential clients with all your processes and features before they can think about trusting you.
Lost trust - you’re turning clients away coming across as cold and generic
Leads that go elsewhere - as above, really, your business feels unapproachable.
“There is your audience. There is the language. There are the words that they use.” – Eugene Schwartz
Let’s pull this apart and spot the mistakes, so you can improve your copy
1. Before we get to the formal introduction (credentials, qualifications, methods), the website is missing a Hero Message. This section is critical — it’s the first impression, the part that reassures anxious visitors they’re in the right place. And…it’s the only piece of content (above the fold) you can be sure visitors will see.
Without it, there’s nothing to immediately show why this therapist cares, understands, or is different from every other option out there.
Nothing to in the copy to make a client think, ‘At last, this lady get’s me and she is exactly what I need.’
Solution: Use 3 pieces of copy to tell people what the page is about. A heading, tagline and a button or call to action.
Pink Journal and pink pencils
2. Vague promises without showing any empathy: create and achieve their goals and live their lives free from debilitating overwhelm. These words are used so frequently these days that they’ve stopped meaning anything. Here is the place and the opportunity to create instant understanding by talking about the pain and terror living with anxiety can bring. What’s missing, in my opinion, are the phrases that mirror how a person is feeling in the throes of a panic attack. For me, ‘debilitating overwhelm’ doesn’t come close - it’s a generalisation.
Solution: This is the kind of information that you gather from working with clients and being able to use it in your copy to show you understand what it’s like to ‘live in their skin’. It’s called Voice of Customer Research and if you’re not sure how to get started, help yourself to my free guide and make the process easy for yourself.
Pink ipad and notebooks
3. There are impressive credentials to establish seasoned professionalism, which is reassuring, along with 30+ years of experience. Along with that is considerable jargon overload, with the shortened therapy forms reading like alphabet spaghetti.
Solution: Just so you know, I’m not knocking this level of expertise. My issue is where it’s placed. It could go further down the page, where a short piece about the Therapist would then lead to her About Page, with further information.
Books and a pink mug
4. The copy is focused on the Therapist rather than the client. Every paragraph has an ‘I’ statement; there’s no putting the reader first, other than saying ‘sessions are held online or in person.’ The role of your website is to put your clients first. Clients don’t care about your business; they’re motivated to find a solution to their problem, to recover with the benefits you can provide and ultimately get rid of the pain in their life.
Solution: Read your copy. If it’s all about your business, your services, or your credentials, flip it. Rewrite so that it speaks to your client’s world, their challenges, and the results they want.
5. Where are the outcomes of the anxiety struggles beyond the vague promises? ⬇️
Helping others create and achieve their goals and live their lives free from debilitating overwhelm and anxiety.
Overcome anxiety.
Live a life by design, instead of default.
Speaking from personal experience, these phrases sound all very bland.
Having been in a state of crisis, I can tell you I was no more interested in ‘living a life by design’ - I simply needed to be able to breath and function on a small scale i.e. getting through each day without shaking, crying and feeling like life wasn’t worth living.
So, what does ‘overcoming anxiety’ actually mean in day-to-day life? It can mean different things to different people. From…
Sleeping through the night and being able to function the next day
Going into work without the fear of making mistakes and losing your job
Attend an important job interview
Speak in public
Solution: Get into your clients' heads, listen to what your customers are saying so you can make your services and solution sound exactly what they need when they land on your website. This is powerful stuff, allowing you to tap into the reader's emotional state and the specific struggles they’re facing.
Laptop with pink planner
Quick Copy Check (before hitting publish) so that your reader chooses you over your competition
1. Does your copy ‘read’ human? Look at your words and phrases, would your client say or think these words are your words, ‘guessed’ and used more times in website copy than excuses for not going to the gym?
2. Are you speaking to what they’re going through? If we go back to my own example: tears from nowhere, ashamed for not being strong enough. Take the time and make the effort to make sure your copy tunes in and empathises with what’s going on in day to day life and what it’s costing your client.
3. Is your website about you, or your client? People care most about what’s in it for them.
One of the most important things you can do in your copy is to speak to your client - so, use ‘you’ and keep it personal as you focus on what they need to hear and know before they decide to work with you.
Ensure your Home Page copy doesn’t leave prospective clients feeling rejected and ready to leave within under 3 seconds. Ditch the clinical ‘coach speak’ once and for all, and sell what’s in it for them.
Want some help refreshing the copy on your Homepage so readers aren’t tempted to back off faster than closing the fridge door on limp lettuce?
Mocktails with fresh flowers and cherries
YOUR FREE HOMEPAGE MINI AUDIT STARTS HERE
One second, two seconds?
How about two-tenths of a second for visitors to form an impression of your brand when they land on your website!
We haven't got a moment to lose.
So...your Homepage has to be fit to create a positive first impression, establish your brand and encourage visitors to dig deeper, take a good look around your website and ultimately become loyal customers.
WHAT YOU GET WITH THE MINI HOMEPAGE AUDIT?
An easy-to-follow video covering 10 guided steps for you to implement to dramatically increase your chances of converting website visitors into clients, making it easier for them to say yes to working with you.
WHAT DO I COVER?
1. Strategy so you get a fresh pair of eyes on the messaging of this oh-so-important page, starting with putting your readers first.
2. User Experience feedback, from a client’s point of view.
3. A copy review to make sure every word is packed with value and sells your solution (and expertise) in a way that feels comfortable with your business values.
“Tracey is one of the most talented copywriters I’ve ever worked with...
She has a rare ability to understand the client, the brand, and the desired outcome, turning ideas into content that is not just creative but truly strategic. Her work consistently delivers results.’”
Send a DM quoting HOMEPAGE AUDIT TO MY INSTAGRAM AND LET’S GET STARTED @thepinkcopywriter
